Thoughts From the Back of a Georgian Police Car

How the h*ck am I going to break the news to my mother, much less, my father? 

This is my apology, for slacking on the blogging and storytelling (you’ll see why). My permission slip, to grieve and mourn and to see growth and healing. And my testimony, a story with proof that what the enemy meant for evil, God uses for good (read it in Genesis 50:20 & sing it loud & proud).

His fingerprints are all over this story.

February 13, 2020

I collapsed. I was frustrated for a whole constellation of reasons.

After an hour of playing “The Game of Things” (imagine an amalgam of Apples to Apples and Scattergories) while listening to ear piercing bluegrass music in the kitchen of our hostel in Kutaisi, I walked back into our room to find my belongings clearly picked through and subsequently robbed.

My laptop was gone. I ran back into the kitchen to tell the boys ‘ya got me!’, thinking this was another one of their pranks, to instead see them full of confusion and disbelief.

Together, we dubiously walked back into our room to see what else, if anything, was missing. To no surprise but sincere disappointment, I realized my wallet had been cleared out and my teammate’s fanny pack stolen with all his USD inside.

I was overcome with sadness; not because of the money stolen or the possessions taken, but because of the memories I had stored and content lost.

Creativity is my art, my sacred gift to the world. My laptop and, really, the pages and pages of writing on it were gone, and all I was left with was a roadblock to my storytelling. The devil’s scheme was to prevent me from sharing the stories of His goodness, and yet, I have more stories of His faithfulness than could ever be told in this blog.

Still, I cried all the tears in the Republic of Georgia. And when I was done, I simply needed to exhale and let His unfiltered peace rush in. I was okay. My teammates were okay. Everyone was safe. We still had our passports.

We called the Police who came to the hostel to investigate the scene, then my teammate and I rode with them to the Police Station to file a report. The Police asked for a description of the stolen items. I didn’t have a photo of my laptop, but it did have a myriad of stickers on the back, including one that said, “Love Your Neighbor”. To which I described and then exclaimed, ‘that’s a Jesus quote!’.

I laughed. I was in the middle of the Police Station in Kutaisi, Georgia, telling the Police officers about Jesus.  

The Police asked why I smiled so much and laughed so loudly (tbh, I can’t help it). Other than it being my natural demeanor, I may not have had my stuff, but I did have peace. After all, it’s just stuff.

Don’t get me wrong: it is stuff that did matter to me. Stuff that allowed me to edit photos (my favorite end-of-the-day hobby) and stuff that enabled me to blog (and inevitably utilize my words as testimony to His goodness… hello Revelation 12:11). Now, it was stuff that allowed me to cast vanity to the wind and let the Lord have His way, knowing this was about so much more than my laptop.

We left the Police station with a burglary report in hand, noticing it was all in Georgian except, “Love Your Neighbor”, clear as day in English.

That night, I couldn’t exactly buy dinner because I no longer had any money… so Ian generously got me McDonald’s and we came home to Hannah and Elijah with Dunkin’ Donuts for us (apparently American fast food fixes everything). I was taken care of. There is no substitute on God’s Green Earth for this kind of community.

I won’t lie: the fear was real. I felt violated in the place I sleep and rest and had declared SAFE. When I finally did choose to tune out the fear, I could hear love speak.

There was an unexplainable peace in the midst of the chaos. I can’t begin to understand it or even fathom how my anger and sadness were no longer present. Except, His infallible Word:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

February 14, 2020

I wanted to go all Tasmanian Devil and be up in arms about being robbed, but I couldn’t. I had peace. I decided I was going to wrestle glory from this hardship.

“Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.” (Robert Fulghum)

So, I prayed a night vigil; I was deep in prayer until the sun rose the next morning. I worshipped through adversity because I knew, deep down in my soul, God is sovereign and GOOD all the time, regardless of our circumstances. This small adversity was a test of how well I know the character and nature of God.

So, I prayed. I became famished for what He had to say. Suddenly, I felt utterly unfit and unworthy to be in His presence and found myself on my knees in surrender, overwhelmed with awe and wonder.

As I prayed, I began to see a new layer of His love, one that is unquestionably impossible to exhaust.

I prayed and saw His certainty and love like a flood that drowned out my fear and sorrow. I prayed and became increasingly deaf to the ways of the world, the ways marked by ‘stuff’. I prayed and had a resounding assurance that there was peace, even here, even now. I prayed and was overcome by these sacred moments simply resting in the Father’s loving presence, where nothing else mattered. I felt the goodness of the world and of God most arrestingly.

My heart was both sheltered and shattered. My heart broke with empathy, so I rolled up my sleeves and got in the mess with my unknown thief, deciding compassion was more important than fear.

I prayed for my unknown thief: to know that they are forgiven, their sins wiped clean by the blood of Jesus, and there is no record of wrongs. In His eyes, they are white as snow, holy and perfect children of God. I prayed they knew nothing could ever discount them from forgiveness, grace, mercy, love and justice and they will never be exempt from the Kingdom, but they are welcomed in with love and truth. I prayed for provision, that the thief would no longer see a need to steal but would have confidence and faith they would be provided for by the Provider Himself. I prayed for our broken world, that conviction, mercy and justice may prevail. I prayed we would be moved to love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, and bless those who curse us. I prayed the simple “Love Your Neighbor” sticker would plant seeds in their heart.

I prayed for us: that we would choose forgiveness instead of anger, blessing instead of cursing, softening hearts instead of discouraging, hope instead of despair, hugging instead of harassing, welcoming instead of rejecting, love instead of hate. I prayed for His perfect and unconditional love to be made visible, diminishing violence and giving birth to new life.

God is God and I am not (thank God).

Join me in prayer: Lord, thank you for peace in the trials; at the sound of Your Name, the distractions, annoyances and pains fall away. Thank you that we live from a place of victory and don’t need a laptop to prove it. Thank you that we can be secure in who we are and whose we are; You are forever bigger than our circumstances. Thank you that it is impossible to lose what we cannot live without: You. Your love is the only thing we truly need, and it is unshakable and untakable.